Welcome to the new normal. #Anderhalvemetersamenleving
I started this blog with the idea that I’d use it several times a week, maybe at some point even daily – as a photo journal, a place to gather ideas, notes, sketches, thoughts. And then Covid-19, or Corona, hit. And society grinded to a halt. I haven’t been able to do much of anything, creatively.
My days haven’t even changed much. I’ve been a work at home mom for 3,5 years now. I’m used to so much of this. But the meaning of it all has changed. It was a choice, first. Now it’s a necessity. Everything has more weight and feels heavier. And the pressure has been getting to me. To try and have everything as normal as possible for my kids who are too young to grasp what is going on. To accept that some plans are on hold for now. To deal with additional isolation on top of already feeling isolated because of post-partum depression.
As a stock photographer, there’s the whole “let’s see if we can capture this moment in history” with the goal to sell photos. Apart from a toilet roll pattern – which at the time was still a light enough thing to photograph – I haven’t been able to have that mindset. Like, how can I turn Covid profitable? It just… doesn’t work for me.
So that really has been blocking me.
But I make my own rules, and I have to remember that. This blog is a reminder that as a photographer, I made a commitment to myself at the start of 2020 that I was going to put everything into doing what I want to do. Not into what the demand is. That hasn’t ever worked in my favor. Working, doing, shooting, creating what I need to create is what works for me. Demand? Flush it.
My mind is shifting back to what matters. My family, my mental health, and being lucky and free enough to do what I want for a living. And that – Freedom To Do – is at the center of my work. Not trends. Not what’s “current”, “fresh”.
Not fucking Covid-19.
It’s still a necessity. But it always has been a necessity. To have this for myself. To do this for myself, on my own terms, while being home with my kids. That’s where my heart and mind both need to be at, now more than ever.